Day 98: September 9th 2009. Mile 66 to Lordsburg (46 mi)

I would usually be ecstatic to have covered this distance, but as I stare at this puffy white cummulus above me, I'm trying to think of how I really feel.

Today was no easy skate. I would say it has been my hardest day since Tyler, Texas so far. The last 11 miles were daunting and brutal; the longest of any 11 miles I have ever skated. I woke up at 630 ate my chocolate chip cookies and was on the road by 7. Surprisingly, I felt good. My ipod started me off with "Sailin On" by the Toots and the Maytals; good choice. Exit 55 came up quick, I was there at about 810. It made me feel real good, and I thought at this rate I should get to Lordsburg by noon. And that's where I made my mistake. At exit 49 things really started to slow down. As usual the weight on my back was paralyzing, the sun was heating up and of course nothing else but a slight headwind was picking up. This time I decided I wasn't going to rest, but I would walk. And I walked and walked, pushing my bag (which was on top of my board) with a yucca stem (which is so much easier to steer and control than pulling it with rope). By the time I got to mile 39 it was already past noontime. My knees felt like they needed to be popped out of their sockets, my ankles were as swollen as plump peaches and the tendon that ran the length of my left foot was definitely sprained. I felt the need to pick things up, and feeling the push on my back giant 18 wheelers were giving me as they pass, made me hop back on my board. The next 5 miles were beautiful. I was cruising again and plenty 18 wheelers passed me, pushing me like I was being shot out of a barrel. I even pumped for a bit. When I got to exit 34 my stomach started cramping up, a first. It was 147 and I was trying to catch my breath beneath the shade of the overpass. I could see Lordsburg but it seemed so far away. I pushed for the next 5 miles with everything I had, but it seemed like I was going nowhere. I had to lay out and find some shade, but I couldn't so I just stopped on the side, underneath the blazing sun. It caused salty sweat to trickle into my eyes, burning them so that I couldn't open them.

7 miles I told myself, 7 miles, I can do this. But I pushed, slow soft pushes that just barely moved me. I fantasized about a dollar drink at McDonald's. I could refill it with Powerade, water, Coke, orange juice, whatever I wanted, however many times I wished. Oh the cold drink going down my cottonmouth, how refreshing it would be. But I was only next to a sign that reminded me I was 6 miles away. I pushed but I had nothing in me. I hoped that someone would feel for me as I now walked slow with my head held down, crouched like the hunchback of Notre Dame, since my shoulders couldn't life the weight anymore. I knew I didn't even have the coordination to steer my board.
"Why?!!!" I angrily screamed. "Give me a fucking sign! Give me a fucking break!" but who could hear me.

I was still 4 miles away and it was 330. I threw everything down and put my head down in disappointment and defeat. I had to keep going, for the sake of the dollar drink at micky dees, I pushed again. I could now see its famous "M" above all else. It said exit 22, but I was only at exit 24. 2 more miles. Push, push, push, breathe, "fuckkk!", push, push, push, breathe, "come on!!!". "I'm gonna get there, I'm gonna get there, I'm gonna get there" "Almost there"

Finally at 409 I was inside McDonald's, refilling my dollar cup for the third time with blue Powerade. Man it felt so good, the best Powerade I ever had. My fingers were locking up again like Tyler; I lost too much salts. Gotta rehydrate and rejuvenate. After about 13 refills with all the the different fountain drinks I headed to the library. A different problem uploading pictures this time. They didn't block my blog like Deming, but blocked pop ups so I couldn't post pictures. Fuckin ay.

The white puffy clouds are now turning into thundering, gray rain clouds. Tomorrow is a grand entry in Arizona. The real desert begins. Oh man I wonder what's in store. Arizona here I come, can you hear me calling?