Day 134: October 16th 2009, Stuck and Stressin in Phoenix

I hope Im not speaking prematurely or being too judgmental but Phoenix is not the place I want to be. To be honest, San Diego is not even that place. I mean maybe temporarily. I can't dig it here. I've tried but its not my style. But I spent so much time here that I'm now more or less stuck.

The Bumblebee didn't turn out to be the money that it seemed, which is all good but now I have no money to get out. This is how it works. On regular days you pay $27 to the bossman to lease a bike and if you don't pay it before the shift it becomes $37 (27/37 rule). On Cardinal football game days the lease is $85 and on other occasions its $65. The Bumblebee follows a little system of seniority. You sign up for the next day if you worked the day before. If not you have to wait for a spot of 8 to open up between 15 people. Because I'm the most recent hire, I'm the lowest on the totem pole. I have to work every shitty slow day to get to the good day (weekend/event). What this forces me to do is to pay the $37 lease on 3 slow ass days even though some days I can't get a single ride because Phoenix downtown is a ghost town. I have seen more people walk around South Kingstown, RI than some days in Phoenix. It's pretty sad. I'm about $54 in the hole with my boss right now. I'm trying to save at least $500 to get out of here, but that doesn't seem like a prospect anytime in the near future.

So now what? Well I gotta stick it out obviously, I just hope it wont be too long. I almost landed a teaching gig, but then found it was gonna start next September. Hell no, I'm not gonna be in Phoenix for this long. Ill be really stressing if I have to be here until Thanksgiving. That's the thing about this place that's getting to me. I feel like I'm slowly losing my peace that I fought so hard to reach to. I've almost quit my meditations. I've stopped skating. I really haven't skated since I got here. Work is about 25 miles away since I live in Mesa and work in downtown Phoenix. Reggae is weak here. The only spot I've come across, the Sail Inn in Tempe has a reggae band every Thursday night but there are like 10 people in the whole place. It's dead.
I want to be alone so bad, I want to be on the road again

"Lord I gotta keep on moving, Lord I got to get on down
Lord I gotta keep on moving, where I cant be found
Lord they coming after me

Ive been accused on my mission, Jah knows you shouldn't do
For hanging me they were willing, and thats why Ive got to get on through
Lord they coming after me

I know someday I'll find that piece of land somewhere not nearby babylon
The war will soon be over and africa, will unite the children who liveth in
darkness have seen the great light

Lord I got to keep on moving, Lord I got to get on down
Lord Ive got to keep on moving, where I cant be found, where I cant be found
Lord they coming after me"

Bob Marley & the Wailers - Waiting in Vain

From the very first time I blessed my eyes on you, girl
My heart says follow through.
But I know, now, that I'm way down on your line
But the waiting feel is fine
So don't treat me like a puppet on a string, cause I know how to do my thing
Don't talk to me as if you think I'm dumb
I wanna know when you're gonna come - soon.
I don't wanna wait in vain for your love.
Cause if summer is here I'm still waiting there
Winter is here, And I'm still waiting there
Like I said,
It's been three years since I'm knockin' on your door, and I still can knock some more
Ooh girl, ooh girl, is it feasible?I wanna know now, for I to knock some more.
In life I know there's lots of grief
But your love is my relief
Tears in my eyes burn - tears in my eyes burn
While I'm waiting - while I'm waiting for my turn

I don't wanna wait in vain for your love

Day 120: October 2nd 2009, The Good Word From Phoenix

So Im still here in Phoenix, Arizona. I'm living with a couple of friends from high school in Mesa who I haven't seen in 2003. Its been nothing but good old times. I also got a job and yesterday was my first day. I work for the Bumblebee Pedicab Service in Downtown Phoenix, drving drunk people around and I'm loving it. The money seems to be great. I still haven't set a date to leave yet, but I gotta make my money. If its cool with Keil and Hannah I'll ask if I can chill until Halloween, although I had a dream last night that they wanted me out by Monday.

Day 112: September 24 2009, West of Florence Junction to Tempe (36 mi)

I never wrote an entry for that day. Though I really dont have much to say about it. Phoenix is fuckin huge, but skating 20 miles through an urban area is so much easier than 20 miles in the middle of an empty road (though the empty road is much more fun...usually). I got into Tempe about 5ish and met up with some old friends. I dont know how long I'm going to spend in Phoenix, but it's still an open date to this point

Day 111: September 23 2009, Superior to west of Florence Junction (22mi)

Again taking my time, no rush to cover distance. Today was easy. It was so fucking windy last night. Didn't sleep well. Got up early, 6AM. One more mountain pass then down we go. I walked the first 3 miles outside of Superior. Tight, shitty shoulder gave me no other option. After the Boyce Thompson Arboritum State Park, the shoulder got wide. Widest shoulder I've ever been on. Enough to fit 2 Hummers side by side. Wider than the lanes on the road. And smoother. Thats what I'm fucking talking about.

A little hilly up until Gonzalez Pass but the tailwind was blowing strong. Kicks carried me far. I passed a guy walking cross country and he stared at me in jealousy. It seems like he had been walking for a while. He wished he had a skateboard, that's what he screamed to me as I skated past him. At the top I started stressing. For the first mile down it was steep, 6% grade steep. And the wind pushing me made me go fast, real fast, too fast for comfort, at least for me on this board. I tried to foot brake, there was no slowing down. I felt the speedwobble. Figuring I could go about 20 mi/hr comfortable, I must have been going 30 0something. I was really scared. For the first time I wished the tailwind turned into a headwind. I focused, balanced and at least it was going to flatten out eventually. At 1010 I was at Florence Junction, didn't have to put my foot down. Cruised. I thought there was going to be some services here, but nada, just a junction to Florence. Skated about 7 more miles. Finished early. Gonna just wrap it up and skate to Tempe tomorrow.

Day 110: Sept 22 2009, Claypool to Superior (10mi)

Lazy, late start. I slept until about 8ish not wanting to rush. Even decided I'd rather walk so I walked 2 miles to Miami, the copper capital of the world and got there at about 9. Had a couple of donuts, rested, being lazy, and then kept going. The road after Miami consisted of nice hills witha good tailwind for about 4 miles. Then there was some serious road construction for the next 4 miles. Tight shoulders, rough roads, and loose gravel everywhere made for a stressing skate. So I walked and came up to a flagger.
"Where are you walking to?"

"San Diego"

"Are you serious?!"

If he only knew how far I'd come. San Diego doesn't even seem that far to me anymore. Its only the next state, but it's all a mtter of relativity. The road work was serious. They were widening it, which meant that they were scraping the sides off the mountain. It ended at Top of the World. I made it safely there at about 11. I intended to keep skating to the Oak Flats Campground about 5 miles further but a man in his 40s with a limp called me over as I was trying to figure out if Top of the World Trading Post (the little shop in town) was open.

"Hey, you need a drink?" asked the old man from a distance

"Yeah, is this place open?"

"No, I got some water if you want" waving for me to come over

"Cool" So I walked over

"I used to skate"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah a long time ago. T" extending his hand to introduce himself (I'm not going to mention his real name out of respect)

"Omar, nice to meet you. And thank you" Shaking his hand

"Have a seat here while I get you a drink" He pointed to some chairs outside his duplex

He brought me a cold Pepsi, offered beer and a cigarette but I thanked him and declined. I kept asking him questions, he didn't seem too interested in my journey. I guess he was originally from Chicago and had been living in Palm Beach for a while. He had a girl who inhereted millions from her parents and they threw it away on crack. They broke up and he moved to Phoenix. There he got involved with meth and one day got a DUI and aggravated assualt for spitting on the cop and got four years in prison. In prison, he claimed to have started receiving messages from aliens, "the grays" and "the greens". He couldn't explain it to me, the messages, that is. The only thing was that the "grays" didn't like the "greens" and something was going to go down in the future, that's all he wanted to say.

Besides the crack and the alien stuff which really didn't bother me, there wa something about his manner I felt sketched out about. He kept saying how the town of 30 people all feared the police because they thought they were spying on them. His dad found him this place after jail. He got a $600 check from the government every month after convincing them that his knee got hurt getting abducted from by aliens. With that money he paid his rent here and lived. After our conversation he asked if I wanted to walk around town to check it out. Of course. I also wanted to see how his community reacted to this guy, because I knew there was something loose.

First he took me to Top of the World Sidewinders where I met Tommy and Tammy. They were a badass couple who put car engines on motorcycles, to drag race. The engines only fit sideways, hence the name. Tommy was working on a bike that was fitted with an old V8 Corvette engine. A beast it was. They acted ok around T, but I still wasn't sure. Next he took me to the drug house as he called it. The door was slightly open and he just walked in.

"Party house" he said "doesn't seem like anyone is here"

I walked inside and it looked like a dirty college party house. I saw bags of dried pinto beans laying around everywhere. Pillos and covers on the floor told me somebody, probably more than one, were sleeping here not too long agao. Why the fuck is he showing me this nasty ass spot, I thought. We left after finding nobody and he walked with his stick and limp with the dumbest smirk on his face.

Something is up with this guy. I knew it and now I had to stick around to find out. We went back to his house and sat. He offered another Pepsi.

"So where do you sleep?"

"I find a place to camp. Im headed to Oak Flats"

"Well, aaaahh, I ain't no fag or no killer or nothing but you can sleep here"

"Cool man, we'll see what happens"

"Im gonna go see if somebody is going to town. You watch the house for me?"

"Yeah, sure"

"Alright, I'll be back"

How could this guy just leave me here in his house. I went and grabbed my book, "The Hot Zone", about Ebola and read. It was now about 430 and T had been gone for more than an hour. I had finished the last few chapters of my book and was at a loss of what to do. I thought about just leaving but didn't want to be disrespectful after his kindness. He came back 10 minutes later with a baby handle of whisky in his hand already half gone. He seemed pretty tipsy, came and sat, then lifter his hands up

"Oh the dope! I gotta go get something" as if I didn't hear what he just said.

"Yeah go ahead man"

He headed to the right where some trailers were. Again he dissappeared for a while. When I saw him coming back he was walking from the opposite direction on the highway, the same route we had taken to the drug trailer. But it was empty, why did he head over there. And why did he start off at the opposite side? Just questions. He comes and sits then about 1o minutes later I notice smoke from the eastside of town. I make nothing of it, then the smoke gets darker and darker, thicker and thicker. I get up to get a closer look.

"Man this smoke looks bad, it might be coming from Tommy's. Should we go check to see if he's alright?"

"Huh? It looks ok"

I guessed I must have been overreacting. Maybe Tommy was smoking one of his bikes or something. But the smoke only intensified. Now I saw Tommy and Tammy running out of their shop looking east.

"Man I really think we should see whatsup. Someone might need help"

He looked at me like I was hallucinating. "Uhhhh, yeah...."

"Well Im gonna go see"

I ran towards the smoke. And there is was the drug trailer was burning intensly. Like the Olympic Torch was burning.

"Son of a bitch, motherfucking druggies" Tommy was now really worried that the strong westerly wind would blow the fire right into his shop. Everything was pretty dry and the fire was spreading quick.

"Where's the fire department? Did anybody call 9-1-1?" I frantically asked

"We called them. They transferred us to Miami FD. Miami then transferred us to Superior FD. We just have to wait" a bearded man replied

"Well is there a water source?"

"That place has been abandoned for months. Junkies come and go every once in a while. It's got nothing, not even a spetic system"

The fire had now been burning for a half hour. The whole trailer was toast. It's deck was now catching on fire including a propane grill. It was so hot, you couldn'y even stand on the opposite end of the street. I took some pictures from that angle but couldn't stand for long. On hour, getting dark and still no fire truck. The fire now caught on the electric lines until they ripped and started sparking. little explosions kept goign off. The sheriff just arrived when just about the frame was left. It was still burning strong. The smoke was so thick, with the wind blowing hard towards where we stood we couldn't see. It was now dark. It stung your eyes standing 500 feet away like you were putting your head close to a campfire. The fire truck from Superior arrived 10 minutes after the sheriff followed by another from Miami in the opposite directions. People were standing everywhere on the road except for T. I looked around again for him but instead I heard an old woman talk.

"Its that crazy guy that lives down there" pointing to the direction of T's house. "I've seen him try to light things on fire before. I saw him walking past it 10 minutes before"

Oh shit I thought. I asked her what the guys name was, she didn't know but she described T. I went back to the house where he was sitting casually drinking a beer.

"How you doin man?" I asked him

"I feel great"

"Yeah? Man did you start that fire?"

"Me? No. Why would I do something like that?" I looked into his eyes. The eyes don't lie. He couldn't look me back. I knew he acted way too cool and too passive about this. I know I saw him walking from that direction 10 minuted before the smoke. He had gone into that house earlier. I walked back to where people were watching. He walks up later and asks how was it. When the sheriff walks over he goes up to him

"This guy's a dealer" poiting to a bald older man with a mustache

"T, this is not the time or place fore this" the sheriff replied

"He told me he was going to get his gun and shoot me" now replied the bald man

"Guys, please take this somewhere else"

The sheriff knew T's name. He must have done something. I had to let them know what I thought and saw. Tammy told me I should let the sheriff know too. When I said what I knew and how I met him, the sheriff told me T was bipolar. And just because he acted cool about it didn't prove anything. He wasn't all there. Either way, I wasn't about to spend the night there. The sheriff offered me a ride 8 miles to Superior and I didn't hesitate to accept. I waite until 10PM until everything was over and the sheriff was ready. I'm still pretty sure T set that place on fire.

It was a cold windy night and I couldn't wait to get into my sleeping bag. Beneath some mesquite trees I lay again.

Day 109: September 21 2009, San Carlos to Claypool (23 mi)

Rusty start afer being easy for a whole week. The most generous locals of San Carlos insisted on giving me a ride to Phoenix. When I declined they offered to at least give me a ride to Florence Junction at the base of the mountains. Again I declined, preffereing to skate. They again insisted at least to the San Carlos line. No thank you I replied. They just couldn't comprehend why someone would want to skate and walk instead of ride in an air conditioned car. No matter how much I explained that this journey needed to be as slow as possible and to be skated as much as possible, they just couldn't comprehend. Such a kind hospitable people, that only cared for my well being.

After riding with them to Globe so many times last week to dine and shope I realized how boring it is to travel by car. You dont get to appreciate the landscape, you can't feel the elements and there is no rewarding feeling after finally reaching your destination. Everytime, I just couldn't wait to get out of the car.

Anyhow, again a necessary early start to the day, where I took rouch ass Indian Route 6 to US-70 a 12 mile ride. The road was terribly rough but after some relaxing times in San Carlos, suffering a little, I convinced myself is just fine. It took me tow hours to cover that road and I was on US 70 at 820. One mile into 70 and I was saying farwell to the reservation that has welcomed me so kindly and grdually began to greet Phoenix, which I'm so excited for to see some real old friends.

I got to Globe an hour later and ran some errands and ate. I found a little lump on my lower back right on top of my spinal cord that I'm stressin about. I can't see or take pictures of it but can feel it. If it keeps up, Im gonna have to get it checked out. i just hope it's not a disc. Down to $62.13 until Phoenix. I can make it happen easily until then, but will definetely need a job there. Taking my time. I won't cover more than 30 miles for the next week. Besides the coming 6% grade after Top of The World, AZ, I found that among all this randomness its nice to have a little routine of skating five days and resting two. My shoes' lifespan are almost up. No foot braking down the slopes, new pair in Phoenix.

I just want to get to San Diego, and get this trip over with. Not that I'm sick of it, but the more time I relax and not on the road, the more I reflect and every reflection I feel is so inaccurate because I'm still not done. Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts.