Day 134: October 16th 2009, Stuck and Stressin in Phoenix

I hope Im not speaking prematurely or being too judgmental but Phoenix is not the place I want to be. To be honest, San Diego is not even that place. I mean maybe temporarily. I can't dig it here. I've tried but its not my style. But I spent so much time here that I'm now more or less stuck.

The Bumblebee didn't turn out to be the money that it seemed, which is all good but now I have no money to get out. This is how it works. On regular days you pay $27 to the bossman to lease a bike and if you don't pay it before the shift it becomes $37 (27/37 rule). On Cardinal football game days the lease is $85 and on other occasions its $65. The Bumblebee follows a little system of seniority. You sign up for the next day if you worked the day before. If not you have to wait for a spot of 8 to open up between 15 people. Because I'm the most recent hire, I'm the lowest on the totem pole. I have to work every shitty slow day to get to the good day (weekend/event). What this forces me to do is to pay the $37 lease on 3 slow ass days even though some days I can't get a single ride because Phoenix downtown is a ghost town. I have seen more people walk around South Kingstown, RI than some days in Phoenix. It's pretty sad. I'm about $54 in the hole with my boss right now. I'm trying to save at least $500 to get out of here, but that doesn't seem like a prospect anytime in the near future.

So now what? Well I gotta stick it out obviously, I just hope it wont be too long. I almost landed a teaching gig, but then found it was gonna start next September. Hell no, I'm not gonna be in Phoenix for this long. Ill be really stressing if I have to be here until Thanksgiving. That's the thing about this place that's getting to me. I feel like I'm slowly losing my peace that I fought so hard to reach to. I've almost quit my meditations. I've stopped skating. I really haven't skated since I got here. Work is about 25 miles away since I live in Mesa and work in downtown Phoenix. Reggae is weak here. The only spot I've come across, the Sail Inn in Tempe has a reggae band every Thursday night but there are like 10 people in the whole place. It's dead.
I want to be alone so bad, I want to be on the road again

"Lord I gotta keep on moving, Lord I got to get on down
Lord I gotta keep on moving, where I cant be found
Lord they coming after me

Ive been accused on my mission, Jah knows you shouldn't do
For hanging me they were willing, and thats why Ive got to get on through
Lord they coming after me

I know someday I'll find that piece of land somewhere not nearby babylon
The war will soon be over and africa, will unite the children who liveth in
darkness have seen the great light

Lord I got to keep on moving, Lord I got to get on down
Lord Ive got to keep on moving, where I cant be found, where I cant be found
Lord they coming after me"

Bob Marley & the Wailers - Waiting in Vain

From the very first time I blessed my eyes on you, girl
My heart says follow through.
But I know, now, that I'm way down on your line
But the waiting feel is fine
So don't treat me like a puppet on a string, cause I know how to do my thing
Don't talk to me as if you think I'm dumb
I wanna know when you're gonna come - soon.
I don't wanna wait in vain for your love.
Cause if summer is here I'm still waiting there
Winter is here, And I'm still waiting there
Like I said,
It's been three years since I'm knockin' on your door, and I still can knock some more
Ooh girl, ooh girl, is it feasible?I wanna know now, for I to knock some more.
In life I know there's lots of grief
But your love is my relief
Tears in my eyes burn - tears in my eyes burn
While I'm waiting - while I'm waiting for my turn

I don't wanna wait in vain for your love

Day 120: October 2nd 2009, The Good Word From Phoenix

So Im still here in Phoenix, Arizona. I'm living with a couple of friends from high school in Mesa who I haven't seen in 2003. Its been nothing but good old times. I also got a job and yesterday was my first day. I work for the Bumblebee Pedicab Service in Downtown Phoenix, drving drunk people around and I'm loving it. The money seems to be great. I still haven't set a date to leave yet, but I gotta make my money. If its cool with Keil and Hannah I'll ask if I can chill until Halloween, although I had a dream last night that they wanted me out by Monday.